Your Revolution is a Joke
by Nandemoii
Summary: Songfic: She had never considered herself a rebound girl, but that was what this was. A rebound. Right? OOC
1. Your Revolution is a Joke

I don't own Gundam SEED

Due to the guidelines, I am removing the lyrics from all my stories. If you would like to read the version with the lyrics, go to the link on my profile.

Warning: OOCness

Miriallia stepped onto the cool cement floor. It felt like forever since she had been to Earth. Sure, she had been to Alaska, but she didn't count the times she had spent fighting. It was all over now. The war, her time in space, her relationship with Tolle. A frustrated look flashed across her face. Why was it that no matter what she thought about, she always managed to think about Tolle? He wouldn't have wanted her to dwell on him. He'd want her to move on, to start enjoying life again, so why couldn't she? '_Because of Him'_ her subconscious told her. Stupid voice, only popping up when it was most unwanted.

"Miriallia!" A voice shouted. It was the same voice that had always been there for her before. The one that had lulled her to sleep when she was sick, the one that had comforted her when she needed it most. It was the voice that had once seemed all knowing. It could relate to anything she felt. Except for this. It could never understand what she was going through.

"Hi mom." She muttered, before being yanked into an air-restricting hug. Why wasn't she happy to see her? This was her mother, her best friend. _'Because you know she'll just tell you that everything will be okay.' _Why wouldn't that voice shut up?

"Oh Milly. I was so worried about you, and then when I heard about To-" It stopped. The voice that had always said all the right things had stopped. Opening her eyes, Miriallia saw her father with his hand on her mother's shoulder. He had stopped her. Why? Because it would hurt? It was bound to hurt. Everything would hurt.

He watched her step off the ship, walking blindly in the direction of the exit. Was she still upset about that guy? Sure, he could understand losing a friend, but he had gotten over it. Why couldn't she? "Women" He muttered. They were so confusing. It was as if they could totally push their emotions away one minute, but the next they were bursting with it. So confusing.

She felt the tears coming, and she was powerless to stop them. In truth, she didn't really want to, but her friends were watching. As were her enemies. Releasing her mother, she continued on her way towards the exit. She didn't stop to look back. She couldn't. It was too hard. She knew what she would see. Sai would be worried. He'd have a sympathetic smile on his face, as if he were trying to comfort her. He and Kira would understand. The last time she had been here was when she was with Tolle. Their families had gone on vacation together. Kira wouldn't make eye contact. He wouldn't know what to do. She smiled a little. He's always been awkward like that. The others probably wouldn't even be paying attention. They'd either be inside their designated ships, or watching others. All but _Him._ He'd be watching her. He'd probably have a smirk on his face. Either that or he would look confused. The tears were coming harder now. When would she see them all again? Or coarse not. All would include Tolle.

He stared after her. He was supposed to wait on the Archangel, until accommodations had been made for his stay on Orb, but he couldn't. He felt like he was missing something. Biting his lip, he steeled his emotions. He would go. He'd follow her. He had no idea what he'd do after that, but he'd never really been one for planning ahead. Glancing around, Dearka stepped casually off the Archangel, and onto the cold concrete if the hangar. He jogged in the same direction as she'd gone, hoping to catch up with her.

Miriallia sighed. She didn't know why, but she'd secretly been hoping that somebody would come out, tell her that she could stay with them, with people who could relate to her. Sai was probably hoping the same thing. Daring a backwards glance, she saw him standing with his parents, smiling. Or maybe he was glad to be off that ship. She didn't want to be on the ship as much as she wanted to be with those on board it.

He was almost there. He had to catch up. Unconsciously picking up speed, he ran out the door she had gone through just seconds before. He almost stopped completely when he saw the car start. Almost. "Miriallia!" He called to her.

Her head snapped around. Someone had come. Looking through the window, she saw who it was. Yes, somebody had come. _Him_. _He_ had come. She stared at him. What should she do?

Miriallia, do you know this man?" She didn't reply. She didn't think. She just acted. She pushed her door open, and ran towards him. She wrapped her arms around him and cried. She just let everything out.

He gasped as she threw herself at him. What should he do? Should he hug her back? Awkwardly, her wrapped his arms around her.

"Let's go back" She whispered. She wanted to go back?

"Milly!" A voice came from the car. "Milly come back here! We need to get going!" When she made no move to go, "MIRIALLIA!"

"You should go." She shook her head. She couldn't go back to them. The house would be filled with false comfort. She didn't want, or need that. She needed to be around people who could understand. "She's coming with me." Was all he said, before releasing her from the hug, and walking back towards the Archangel.

Sai looked up as he heard feet pounding past him. Dearka? What was he doing? Unless… "Mir" He muttered.

"What was that?" His father asked. Sai looked up, not realizing that he'd said it out loud.

"Uh, nothing." He replied. "C'mon, let's go." They started towards the exit when Sai was yanked backwards. He yelped and started struggling.

"You're coming back with us. She'll want to talk to you." It was Dearka. Walking with Miriallia. Since when did he know who Miriallia would want to talk to? At least, that's who Sai assumed 'she' was. Who else would it be?

She walked quietly with Dearka. What force had compelled her to do such a thing, to throw herself at him like that? _'Love.' _Not that voice again. Wait. Love? She couldn't love Dearka. She still cared about Tolle. Not only that, but she hardly even knew the guy. Tolle must hate her. She had hardly even mourned his loss, and already she was moving on. She had never considered herself as a rebound girl, but that was what this was. A rebound. Right? She couldn't possibly really love another so soon, if ever. The tears were coming even harder now. She was so confused. And she must look like some kind of freak. Here she was, coming home from war, and she was crying. '_Because you're not home. Not without Tolle._' What was that voice's problem? First it was trying to convince her that she loved Dearka, which was totally impossible. And now it wanted her to love Tolle. Why couldn't she make up her mind?

Miriallia was knocked out of her thoughts when she felt a tug coming from Dearka's other side. Glancing over, she saw Sai being dragged backwards towards the Archangel. It almost made her want to laugh. Almost. Apparently Sai would be coming along as well. But why would Dearka want to bring Sai along as well? Unless he… he thought she would feel better. Why would he think that? _'Because it's true._ That voice was getting really cocky now. It was all she could do to keep herself from smacking herself to make it go away. She heard Sai protesting, and his parents calling to him. Sniffling, she wiped her tears with her thumb and smiled a bit. She was seeing a side of Dearka she had never seen before. She wasn't sure how it was different. Dearka was still popping wisecracks at every protest Sai made, but everything just felt different.

Things would never be the same. No, they couldn't be, but, different was okay.

A/n: I know, the song isn't the most fitting song ever, but I was listening to it when this idea popped into my head. This is also shorter then I expected it to be. This is my first Gundam SEED fic ever; so let me know how I did. I know there's a fair bit of OOCness and everything, but you were warned in the summary. I may consider continuing this, as I have many ideas for it.


	2. Anthem of Our Dying Day

Here it is… The sequel! Don't shoot me if you liked it better as a one-shot. I won't force you to read this. -Cowers in a corner-

Due to guidelines, I have removed the lyrics from this chapter. To read this with the lyrics, find the link on my profile page to my account, or go to and search for me under the same username.

I had some questions asking if they were staying with the military. No, they were just waiting on earth until living arrangements or transportation could be arranged. I figured that Kira wouldn't want to live with his parents, and nobody else would really have family on earth other than Mirriallia and Sai.

Warning: OOCness

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam SEED or Anthem of our Dying Day by Story of the Year.

He let his leg swing over the edge of the rooftop. This had been one of his favorite pastimes for the past weeks. Just sitting and thinking. He had so many decisions to make. Should he go home? That was an obvious no. He'd betrayed his army. Defied his commander. He had committed crimes punishable by death. At least he would be safe in Orb. There were many other decisions to make as well. Should he go back to school? If not, what would he do? He didn't have a definite answer to any of these questions yet, but he hoped to get some soon. He had been staying at the Athha mansion, but he had to leave sometime, after all, he was probably already overstaying his welcome. Yzak Lacus and Athrun would be in similar situations, though he wasn't sure if their family status would help or hinder their attempts to get their lives back to normal. He wasn't sure about Miriallia and Sai. If their parents wouldn't take them back, they would be in the same boat as everybody else, but why they wouldn't, he had no idea. He kept telling himself that they wouldn't have a problem, but it did little to ease the guilt he felt. He didn't even know why he felt guilty. He had done what was best at the time. What else could be expected?

Miriallia wandered aimlessly through the seemingly endless hallways of the Athha mansion. She had been doing it a lot lately. It seemed to be the only thing she could do without running into Dearka. Things had been awkward between them since he had dragged her and Sai away from their parents. It felt almost like he regretted doing it. Miriallia was actually very thankful that he had done it. She wouldn't have been able to put up with the awkward sympathetic smiles for more than three days. She was still trying to figure out where she would stay. Going back to her parents' place was no longer an option for her. Sure, if she wanted to, she could go back, but she didn't. She could probably find a cheap apartment and get a full-time job as a waitress or something, but she really wanted to finish school, and she wasn't sure if she could pull that off and still be able to afford an apartment as well as living expenses.

She was jarred from her thoughts when she came to pull-down staircase that she didn't remember seeing ever before. At a glance, it appeared to lead outside. She could see stars above, and a soft breeze was drifting through. Deciding that it couldn't hurt to check it out, she started to softly pad up the ladder-like stairs. She gasped when she got to the top. The view was amazing, much too beautiful to describe. It reminded her of the time she went camping with Kira, Kuzzey, Sai and Tolle. Her thoughts faltered for a moment at the idea of Tolle. That was right. The last time she saw anything this beautiful was with Tolle. They had gone to a lake, and all sat on the dock and watched the sunset. It had really been amazing. Things would never be the same. Everybody had changed so much during the war. Sai was much more mature, nowhere near as carefree as he had once been. Kuzzey, well, to be perfectly honest, she hadn't seen Kuzzey since he had left the Archangel. And Kira. Kira was much, she wasn't sure how to describe it. Colder seemed to harsh, and, well, she couldn't think of any other words that even stood a chance of working. Kira had just changed. She supposed she had as well. She was a whole different person without Tolle. So often now she wished she had never met him. That would have made things so much easier on her, but whenever she started thinking like that, she remembered all the amazing times they'd shared together, and she was happy. Happy that she had at least had a chance with somebody as wonderful as Tolle.

He heard a gasp, and tensed. Somebody had found his spot. Turning slowly around, being extra careful not to make a sound, just incase that if by some stroke of dumb luck, he had not been seen. He could hide somewhere, and still be able to come up here tomorrow night and be alone. As soon as he had turned all the way around he froze. It was _Her_. Just his luck that he had to be discovered by the one person he had been trying so hard to avoid. But she wasn't looking at him. She was facing the opposite direction. She wasn't moving at all. He couldn't even tell if she was breathing. He found that while he was thinking this, he was walking towards her. It felt like that same unnamed force that had made him go to her when they had first arrived on earth.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" He asked, in his smooth voice.

Miriallia must have jumped at least a foot when she heard the voice behind her.

"D-Dearka?" She asked, her breath still not calming. What was he doing up here? Part of her just wanted to run down those stairs and lock herself in her room, but the other part, the part with the voice, the part that always got what it wanted, the part that she so deeply despised, wanted to stay.

"You shouldn't let your guard down like that." He said, with that smug smirk that made her want to scream at him, made her want to hold him. Whoa. That voice was getting a little over-confident, making statements like that. "What? Don't you have anything to say to me?" The smugness! Ooh it made her hate him, love him even more! Ugh! She wanted to scream. Didn't that voice have a mute button or _something_?

"What are you doing up here?" Could she have said anything stupider? It was like, the voice was taking over everything and wanted her to suffer for ignoring and despising it for these past years.

"Well, I _was_ enjoying the view, until you came along."

"So you can't enjoy it now that I'm here?"

"Hey, That's not what I meant!"

"Well it's what you said."

"You know what I- Never mind. It's probably too complicated for your little natural mind to comprehend. I think I'll go back to enjoying the view now. Would you mind closing the stairs behind you?" He asked as he walked towards the edge.

"Ex_cuse_ me?" She asked, following close behind him. The voice had gotten off easy this time. She could take it out on this jerk right now.

"You heard me." He sat down, once again swinging his leg off the edge.

"Isn't that a little dangerous?" She asked, forgetting her anger momentarily as she saw him sitting so close to the edge.

"Only if you plan on pushing me." _Not a bad idea_. Whoa. Did the voice just agree with what she was feeling? She knelt down beside him, and looked down over the city.

"It's beautiful."

He smirked inwardly as she knelt down. He knew she had been trying to avoid him as much as he had been trying to avoid her. If she was the one following him, at least it wouldn't look like he had broken down and given up on avoiding her.

"Fire." Came Miriallia's voice after many minutes of silence.

"Huh?" He asked, confused.

"It looks like fire. All the lights, like tiny flames." She was right. It did look like fire.

"I guess you could look at it like that." He said, trying not to sound like he cared all that much. Why was he so worried about what she thought of him? He never cared about anybody's opinion until he'd met her. But why did he care? She was just another girl, granted much more beautiful, but still just another girl. He was acting as if he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Him, Dearka, the infamous playboy, settling down, ever, never mind this early, was a thought that could probably make even Yzak laugh. "So, what was so interesting?"

Miriallia was once again pulled from her thoughts when the question was asked. "Huh?"

"When you first came up here, you looked like you were pretty deep in thought."

"Oh." She looked at her hands. It just felt so _wrong_ talking about Tolle with Him. "Nothing. Just som- nothing you'd be interested in." What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she form complete sentences?

"Oh? And how would you know what I'd be interested in?"

"I-I just know."

"Oh come on! Why not just tell me?" He smirked. "It's not like it's anything about _me_ is it? Of coarse, I'd still be interested even if it was about me."

Oh how she just wanted to rip that smirk off his face. What was she supposed to tell him? 'Oh yeah, I was just thinking of all the great times that I had with my now dead boyfriend who happened to be killed by your friend there.' Somehow, she doubted that would work. It was hard enough to just think it without bursting into tears. To actually say it… And not only that, but knowing her luck, Athrun would probably just happen to be walking by at the time, and hear it.

He's lost her. After asking her about what she was thinking. She was just sitting there, staring in the direction of the ocean, apparently deep in thought. What could she have been thinking about that could launch her into such a complicated train of thought? Looking at her again, he noticed she had tears in her eyes. This shocked him. What the hell was she crying about? What could she have possibly been thinking of that could have launched her into waterworks? Dearka's eyes widened with realization. Her boyfriend. Oh shit. Shitshitshitshitshit. He knew just as well as anybody that talking about that guy, whatever his name was, was a big no no. How could he have been so stupid? Mentally slapping himself as hard as he could, he rotated his full body to face her. Hooking a finger under her chin, he used his thumb to wipe the tears away before they even fell. If there was one thing he was better at than fighting, it was comforting. Girls were so easy to get when they were on the re-bound.

She was such an _idiot_! How could she have actually let herself cry- almost cry like that? Now her probably thought she was some weird freaky girl who could go from thinking about how pretty fire is to crying because of a simple question. 'What if he feels guilty?' No! He couldn't. It wasn't his fault. It was hers for being so emotionally unstable. She should be over it. Tolle wouldn't want her to dwell on the past like that. He'd want her to be happy. _Even if it means being with someone else?_ AUGH! Wouldn't the voice ever shut up? Or at least make up it's mind as to who's side it was on. She'd prefer the first one, but the second wouldn't be all that bad.

Dearka couldn't believe it. He'd lost her again. Her attention span could probably rival that of a goldfish, which from what he knew, was around three seconds. Yup, a definite possibility. Why couldn't he change the subject? It would seem way too obvious. And he couldn't exactly talk about what'shisname either. Hell, he didn't even know what he looked like. Looked like he'd have to take the dangerous route. Talking about him.

"What was he like?" Wow. That was the last question she was expecting from him. 'Don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry.' It was a constant mantra in her head. She kept repeating it over and over as she stared at him. Was he serious? He actually wanted to know about Tolle? What he was like? No. He had to be insane. Why would he want to know something like that? Miriallia bit her bottom lip to keep from saying anything stupid or cruel or humiliating. '_Well aren't we feeling oppressive today? Why don't you just let me handle this? Just say whatever I say. It won't be that hard.'_ Was everybody crazy? There was no way she would ever do what the voice told her to do. And why was it ordering her around like that?

"He, he was, impossible to describe." She started out speaking in nothing more than a hoarse whisper, but her voice gradually gained strength as she went on. "He always knew what to say, a-and how to say it. He would always stand up for what he believed in. He would do whatever it took, and always put his friends first."

Athrun was walking down one of the almost unused hallways through the mansion, intent on seeing Cagalli when he cane to what appeared to be a staircase leading outside. Maybe to the roof? But why would it be open? He stepped up a few stairs, stopping when he heard voices.

"-lways stand up for what he believed in." That was Kira's friend, Miriallia. "He would do whatever it took, and always put friends first." He could only guess who she was talking about, but he had a pretty good idea about who she was talking to.

"You know, you shouldn't blame Athrun. He was only following orders." Yes. It was who he thought. But, why were they talking about him? Unless… That was hardly romance material.

"Whoever said I did?" She sounded a bit upset at Dearka's statement. Athrun really didn't like the direction this conversation was going in.

"No! I-I didn't mean anything. I just, you know, thought that you would feel-" Smooth Dearka. Real smooth.

"You have no idea what I think or feel!" The voices were escalating. Time for him to take his leave. On the second step from the bottom, there was a loud squeak.

Dearka tensed. It would appear they had an eavesdropper. He walked slowly towarst the opening, not wanting to make any noise to alert their intruder of his presence.

All of Athrun's training told him to run, to hide, get the hell out of there, do anything to prevent his capture. But he couldn't. He was frozen to the spot. Why couldn't he move Damnit!

Dearka carefully looked down the entrance, before muttering an 'Oh shit.' Why did he have to be there? Crap. He'd probably heard their whole conversation about him. And he had such a sheepish smile on his face. He couldn't have possibly just been getting some fresh air. No. He had to have known. He didn't look at all apologetic. Nope, nothing but sheepishness. Well, if Miriallia wasn't totally pissed off at Dearka before, she sure would be now.

Athrun started climbing back up the ladder-like stairs. He'd been caught so he might as well keep whatever scraps of dignity he had left and to this properly. Once he got to the top, Dearka just stood there glaring at him. He glanced over to Miriallia. Their eyes locked for a split second before she looked away. This must be really awkward for her. He hadn't exactly made a point of talking to her that much. He hadn't really apologized either. Not that he didn't want to, he just felt that it would make things worse. 'Oh, hey, you know I'm really sorry about killing your boyfriend, but you know, Kira killed my friend so it all really evens out. Please don't be too mad.' That would go over great.

"What the hell were you doing?" Dearka asked. He didn't raise his voice at all. He kept it even, but dripping with venom. "You know what would have happened if this happened a month ago? You would have been killed instantly, unless they decided to torture you first."

"I was just walking and decided to get some fresh air."

"So then what was with the 'I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar' face?"

"I shouldn't have to explain myself to you. I am your superior."

"That really doesn't apply to this."

"I-I should be going." Both men turned their heads to where the meek voice was coming from.

"No, please don't let me drive you out." Athrun said, once again back to his calm stoic self.

"I'm sure she could drive you out if she had a knife." That made Miriallia blush, and confused Athrun to no end. "That's right Athrun, you haven't heard this story yet, have you? You see, I was simply lying down, minding my own business when she came into the room, grabbed a scalpel and proceeded to attack me with it. Caught me with it too." Miriallia was blushing furiously, and appeared extremely awkward. Athrun looked at her and raised an eyebrow. He had a hard time believing the natural girl would swat a mosquito, never mind attack another human with a scalpel. "So, if you ever feel like making her mad, be sure to check the surrounding area for any sharp objects." Now he was just doing this to make Miriallia as awkward as possible.

Miriallia started heading towards the exit before she could shout something stupid like how she thought he was the jackass who killed Tolle. That would just make things even more awkward between her and the blue-haired coordinator. She couldn't have been fore than a few feet from the entrance when Dearka grabbed her shoulder.

"Leaving so soon? I'm quite sure you said you didn't have any plans." It was a lie, but if she denied it, he would retaliate with some smart-ass remark about her bad natural memory and then proceed to question her about her plans for the evening. He really didn't want to make her _that_ uncomfortable, but she really needed to straiten things out with Athrun.

"I should be going." Athrun stated, once again in his polite, formal voice.

"Listen Athrun, I know you probably have some awesome plans, but you two really need to work things out, for Kira's sake.

He was bringing Kira into this now? Miriallia couldn't believe it. But it was sort of true. Things had been awkward between her and Kira ever since Athrun had joined the Archangel, and she really didn't want to ruin their friendship because of somebody who killed somebody close to her.

"So why don't we all sit down and chat?"

How was he able to manipulate her like that?

"I really should be going. Cagalli's expecting me soon."

"I did tell Sai that I'd catch up with him sometime tonight."

"They can wait. This can't. Who knows if an opportunity like this will ever come up again?" And that was a bad thing? This was already off the awkwardness chart, and they hadn't even started talking yet.

Dearka was evil. That was the only conclusion Athrun could come to. Couldn't he see how this subject affected the girl? Sure, it made him awkward as well, but he really didn't want to admit that.

"So, Athrun, ask a question." He hated the blond boy. He despised him and wished him a fate worse than hell. But he couldn't not reply. It would just prove to make things even weirder between the two. Less awkward, more weird, or same awkward, no weird. He couldn't decide which would be better. For lack of anything better to say, he quickly blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"What did he look like?"

Miriallia was stunned to say the least. He was actually going along with this? Was he out of his mind? Crazy? Psychotic? He must be. Maybe she could say she had a picture in her room and lock the door, never to be seen or heard from again. No, they were too smart for that. But she did have a picture, not in her room, but with her. Sighing, she dug into one of her pockets, and, looking out towards the city, handed it to Athrun. Tonight, she would go after Dearka with a scalpel again, but this time, she would finish the job. He didn't deserve to live. Hell he didn't deserve to die either. He deserved to remain forever on that fine line between the two. It would be pure torture, but even that could be too good for him.

Athrun looked at the photograph she handed him. There she was, with a brown-haired boy, smiling like nothing could ever separate them, in front of the most amazing sunset he had ever seen. He had to be honest, she didn't appear to be capable of smiling like that anymore.

They went on for a while, just discussing things, until they both ran out of things to say. Dearka had stood over them and smirked the whole time. The silence wasn't the least bit awkward, it was actually pretty comfortable. The trio eventually wandered over to the edge of the roof, and sat down. Dearka sat right beside Miriallia, so that he could put his arm around her, which he did. This action caused her to get extremely tense, before eventually relaxing, even going so far as to rest her head on his shoulder. Athrun was farley close to them as well, though he was careful to give them their space.

If only Kira could see them. He'd probably go into shock. Athrun knew his old friend didn't expect the two to get along under the circumstances, and seeing the two of them sitting so close together without Miriallia crying or acting the least bit awkward would surely make him wonder.

Miriallia was quite comfortable with Dearka's arm around her, and she was surprised at how safe and warm she felt. A small part inside of her was still screaming at her, telling her that she'd betrayed Tolle by forgiving his killer, and even getting cuddly with another guy. She shushed that part by telling herself that Tolle wouldn't have wanted her to hold a grudge. He would have wanted her to move on, to be happy. She decided that Dearka would receive a simple, painless death instead of all the torture she had planned out for him earlier.

Dearka couldn't help the smirk that came onto his face when Miriallia leaned her head on his shoulder. Maybe he hadn't screwed up that badly after all, though he still felt that he would get at least a stern talking to, possibly a good yelling session tomorrow.

The cozy couple were knocked from their thoughts when they heard Athrun mutter something.

"Fire"

"What was that?" Dearka asked

"Fire" Athrun said louder. "The city, when you look closely, it really looks like it's on fire, with all the little lights."

"You are both crazy." Dearka said, referring to the two who could see what he couldn't in the city below. He stood up, causing Miriallia to tumble off him and onto the hard concrete roof.

"Hey!" She yelled half-heartedly. Pretty soon she heard Athrun yelp, and, out of the corner of her eye, saw him jump up. Looking over, she saw Dearka pressing hard on a pressure point in Athrun's back.

"What the hell was that for?" Athrun asked, sounding slightly ticked-off, and not at all like the coordinator she had been talking to 45 minutes before.

"That was for reinforcing her ideas about the city looking anything like fire."

"But it does." Athrun stood up as he said this, ready to get revenge on the blonde brat. Miriallia turned halfway around, in order to watch the two bicker like three year olds. She really wished she had her camera with her right now. She had been practically glued to the thing before they had gotten involved in the war, and she was really starting to miss it. Kira always told her that sometime he would put glue all over it, and hope she would get stuck to it. She had almost immediately started lecturing him on what a trick like that could do to a camera. She would have to be careful around Dearka as well, he seemed like the type to pull a stunt like that.

From up here the city lights burn  
Like a thousand miles of fire  
And I'm here to sing this anthem  
Of our dying day

Somehow, the battle between the two coordinators had been switched around yet again, and now Dearka was chasing Athrun. As Athrun ran past her, he grabbed her by the arm, and spun sharply around, using her as a human shield. Dearka came to a stop mere inches from her face. "That's low Zala. Really low." Athrun had a strong enough grip on her that she wouldn't even try to break free for fear of hurting herself, though she doubted Athrun was stupid enough to let that happen. Kira would go after him. He had become rather protective of her ever since Tolle had died.

"Admit defeat Elthman." Athrun spat with fake hatred.

"NEVER!" Miriallia couldn't help but laugh at that line. It was just so cheesy, like something you'd see in a really old movie. This surprised Athrun, and his grip on her loosened. Dearka noticed this and took advantage of it by pulling Miriallia to him, and holding her in the same position Athrun had her in just seconds before.

"Curse it! My plan has failed." Athrun shouted, falling even deeper into his role. Dearka looked at Athrun, before they too started laughing. Picking Miriallia up bridal style, Dearka went back to the edge of the roof, and dropped her in his lap. "I should probably be going now." Athrun said, before turning the other way and heading to the exit.

"Isn't Sai expecting you?" Dearka asked, not really wanting this moment to end.

"Sai can wait." Dearka smirked.

"So does this mean I won't die an untimely death-by-scalpel?"

"That depends."

"On?"

"Everything."

Was there a creature more confusing than a female? Somehow Dearka doubted it. They had crazy mood swings, and crazier moods to swing from.

Men were so confusing. Almost every one had two totally different sides. Miriallia figured that she had seen Athrun's other side that night, and it was something that she thought he should show more often. Something told her Cagalli would like that a lot.

They stopped talking, and just stared towards the city. They had no sense of time. It didn't matter. Not to them.

Eventually Dearka started to get sore from sitting in the same position for so long. He decided to leave now, and was about to tell Miriallia when he noticed something. She was asleep. In his arms. He couldn't decide whether this was a curse or a blessing. If he was caught while dropping her in her room, he risked a beating from whoever found him. But, he would be able to go into her room, which would probably even things out a bit. Standing carefully so as not to wake the sleeping girl, Dearka started down the stairs. Once at the bottom, he tried to remember where her room was. Eventually remembering it, he started quickly to the right. He walked through the many halls of the Athha mansion, before coming to her room. Carefully opening the door, he slipped inside, and headed to the bed. Wit one hand, he pulled the blankets back, and held her with the other. He gently put her down, covering her up with the blankets. He was about to leave when the other half of the bed caught his eye. An evil smirk worked its way across his face as he analyzed the queen-sized bed. Oh yes, he would. Careful so as not to disturb the girl's sleep, he eased himself into the bed. Sure, he would be screamed at in the morning, but that really didn't matter at the moment.

He really couldn't wait until the next morning.

A/N: Wow, 10 full pages on word. I really felt that Athrun and Miriallia had to talk things out, and I decided to do it this way. It got kind of fluffy in there, and I had to add humor. I'll probably add a third chapter if I can find a fitting song. I might not even use a song if I'm feeling adventurous but I doubt it. I might use 'Red is the New Black' by Funeral For a Friend, or 'In Your Hands' by Thrice. I might even use some Avenged Sevenfold (Trashed and Scattered) But I can't think of a fitting theme for it. Any song recommendations?


	3. Waking Moments

A/N: I use songs for two main purposes in my stories (3 if you count me having a bad case of song-fic fever) 1. It helps set the mood that I'm going for, and 2. It's what keeps me writing. If I hadn't had the lyrics in the last chapter, I can guarantee the whole Athrun part wouldn't have been that long, if it had happened at all, and Miriallia would have probably just fallen asleep in Dearka's arms right after he asked about Tolle.

I couldn't find a song that fit this chapter, but I have a good idea of what I'll use for the next one. (It'll be by either Silverstein or Funeral For a Friend)

Warnings: OOCness (again)

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam SEED

Miriallia felt quite warm in her bed. So warm that getting out of it was the last thing on her mind. She snuggled closer to the source of the heat, which was directly in front of her. Whatever it was didn't want her to leave either, as it had it's are wrapped tightly around her. As she was drifting further away from sleep, she started to wonder what form of heat had arms? Or a rock hard chest for that matter. Opening her eyes slowly, not wanting to harm them with the sunlight that was streaming in through the window. Once she had opened them all the way, she tensed. There was somebody in her bed. A _guy_ in her bed. A _guy _who wasn't _Tolle_ was in her bed. She screamed as loud as she could, and scrambled out of the bed. What the hell was a guy doing in her bed?

Dearka was sleeping so peacefully. It was so nice he never wanted to wake up. But, just his luck, some girl got scared, right beside his face. His arm was thrown rudely aside, and the blankets were pulled off the bed. Sitting up, he saw the cause of his waking. Miriallia was standing pressed against the wall, staring at him. He couldn't help it. He smirked. At least, he was smirking until the door was thrown open by a very worried Kira, Sai, Cagalli, Athrun, and Lacus. Even Yzak was there, though he lacked the concern that was on the others faces. Oh. Shit. Something told Dearka he wasn't getting out of this one without a few bruises.

"What the hell happened here?" That was Cagalli. She didn't sound too pleased. How would he explain this one? The question was directed at Miriallia, so he still had some time to think of an explanation.

"I have no idea! I-I don't remember anything." Miriallia sounded like she'd been kidnapped or raped or something. Yzak was smirking now; finding the situation Dearka was in quite amusing.

Miriallia was still in the clothes she was wearing last night. Nothing felt wrong, so maybe it had just been an innocent action. Innocent. Yeah right. That guy and innocent didn't belong anywhere near each other unless the words 'not' or 'lack of' were in between them. What happened last night? She remembered her conversation with Athrun, and sitting on the roof with Dearka, but after that, everything was blank. Did he knock her out? She doubted that he was that low. Maybe she fell asleep? But why the hell was he in her bed? He better have a damn good explanation. He was making her swear! She hardly ever cursed unless she was in a really bad mood, or really uptight.

Kira wasn't sure what to feel. Should he be mad because Dearka had apparently shared a bed with Mir? Should he find it amusing because almost everybody else looked ready to kick the guy's ass? Should he feel sorry for the guy since this was probably a misunderstanding? Should he feel sorry for Mir because she appeared to be traumatized? He really had no idea. He examined the faces of everybody in the room, trying to figure out how many would be against Dearka in a fight that was bound to happen. Cagalli looked ready to kill something, whether it was because of lack of sleep, loss of alone-time with Athrun, or the fact that Dearka had done something like this (whatever 'this' was) to Miriallia, he didn't know. Sai looked concerned for Mir, and would probably prefer to comfort her than beat somebody up, Lacus looked the same as Sai, Athrun looked a lot like Cagalli, although he looked like he felt less like killing something and more like torturing it. Kira eventually gave up trying to analyze Yzak. He didn't know him well enough to judge his emotions. Two was more than enough to comfort Mir. He'd join the fight. Why not? Sure, he wasn't usually a violent guy, but he'd do a lot to protect his friends.

Think fast, think fast! Dearka was desperate to find an explanation for the situation that wouldn't get him killed, but so far, nothing came to mind. Glancing behind him, he noticed a window. If he caught them off guard, maybe he could slip out the window and they'd all have cooled down by evening. The only flaws he could find were, 1. What if he didn't make it to the window in time? And 2. What if they hadn't cooled down by the evening? He could take a lot. But having 3 coordinators and one undecided against him was not something he would like to experience. And worse, what if that Kisaka guy came in? The guy was big, and not somebody he'd want to piss off. Although, he didn't seem like the type of guy to get involved in something like this unless it was to drag Cagalli out of it. Even if that did happen, he'd still have 3 angry coordinators coming at him. Dearka really didn't like the odds. There had to be some other way out of this mess, but what was it?

Athrun found this situation amusing and infuriating all at once. On one side, Dearka looked like he was about to get his ass kicked, and, if this was anything like the fights they'd had while in space, it would prove to be quite entertaining. But, the look Miriallia had on her face when he'd first entered made him feel… protective. He felt like she was his little sister, and after just a couple of hours of talking. He was getting soft. Next he'd probably be crying to her about how sorry he was that he'd killed her boyfriend. No, not her boyfriend. Tolle. He had a name, and a face. Athrun didn't exactly feel the need to get involved in this fight, he felt more like standing on the sidelines, but making Dearka think otherwise could make this situation even more interesting.

Miriallia felt extremely bad now. This was all probably just a misunderstanding, and she went and got everybody involved. Things weren't looking that good for Dearka. If only there was something she could do. Why was she feeling guilty? He had slept with her. Well, shared a bed with her. From what she could tell, he hadn't actually done anything. She bit her lip. Almost everybody else looked ready to kill. She had to do something about this, but what could she say? Nothing came to mind. Maybe she should just go and _do_ something instead, and see what she came up with? It could work, and no better ideas were coming to mind. Taking in a deep breath, she told her legs to move between the miniature angry mob and Dearka. Nothing happened. They wouldn't move. She mentally screamed at them, begging them to move, but they did nothing. Time was running out, and she had to act quickly. She acted upon the first thought that came to mind. She collapsed.

Dearka's head snapped around when he heard the clatter. There was Miriallia, lying on the floor. What the hell? Had she fainted? Almost instantly everybody was at her side, trying to revive her. He had a clear path to the door. Nobody would even think twice about it now that they had Miriallia to worry about. But what about her? He shook his head to clear his thoughts. She would be fine. Standing slowly, being extra careful not to make the bed squeak, Dearka made his way to the door. He carefully slipped out. Nobody had seen him. He was safe. Or, so he thought.

"And where might you be going?" Shit. It was Yzak. He should have known better than to think that he would actually care enough to see if Miriallia was all right. Thinking quickly, Dearka responded.

"You. Saw. Nothing." Before running down the hall. He doubted Yzak would tell them anything, but just incase, he took many turns, going down any hallway he could find.

Sitting up slowly, holding a hand to her head as if she had a headache, Miriallia looked around. There was no sigh of Dearka. So her plan had worked. She just had to pray that this wouldn't make everybody even angrier. Standing up, she shook her head lightly, and looked at everybody. It was kind of unnerving being the center of attention. "I'm fine." She muttered. '_Really convincing Mir.'_ Why did that damn voice have to pop up at the worst possible times?

"You're sure?" Sai asked, still sounding concerned. She nodded, before going to sit on the bed. This action brought attention to Dearka's absence.

"That bastard!" Cagalli shouted, obviously angry. "What a coward, running away like that." She stomped to the door.

"No! Wait!" She couldn't stop herself. She had to prevent everybody from acting like idiots. They were all looking at her again. She hated it when they did that. Gathering her confidence, she looked up a little. "This is all probably just a misunderstanding. I'm sure there is a perfectly good explanation for it all."

Was that girl crazy? She must have hit her head when she fell. A perfectly good explanation? Who did she think she was kidding? Maybe some of the naturals, but defiantly not him. Unless… Athrun smirked. Maybe she didn't want them to kick his ass because she liked him. It was a possibility. Maybe he would hold off on the Dearka's ass kicking for a while, just to see how this played out.

"Somehow, I doubt that, but I don't really feel up to chasing him down. Why not wait until he comes back? It would be so much more enjoyable if he wasn't expecting it."

Was Athrun actually going along with this? Kira had known him since he was a kid, and he had never wanted to hold off on 'protecting the innocent' as he had put it back then. Why was he doing it now? His eyes narrowed. Something was up. Athrun wasn't the type to care about people he didn't know. Sure, he would show them courtesy, but he rarely truly cared. Had something happened recently between him and Mir? He couldn't see how. Things had been extremely awkward between the two. What could inspire them to get close? He was curious as to what was going on. Might as well play along to see how things would turn out.

Athrun was… agreeing with her? She had been so obvious that she was trying to cover for Dearka. This was strange. She didn't even know why she had done it. Why had she felt guilty? He had slept with her. Wait. That sounded wrong. Why did she keep referring to it as that? He had shared a bed with her. Without her knowledge. Had he expected to get off easy? But still… Athrun must have known something was up. Why wasn't he questioning her? Was he respecting her decision? Why? Had that talk last night changed their relationship to such an extreme? Could they honestly be considered friends now? She had figured that they would just be… not so awkward, not friends. Is it even possible to be friends with your boyfriend's killer? She had so many questions without answers. She was so confused. It wasn't bad enough that The Voice thought she was falling in love with somebody else; she was also becoming friends with her boyfriend's killer. She might actually faint for real this time. Miriallia really needed some air.

"I think I'll go outside for a little while." She stated before heading out the door. As soon as she stepped through, she saw that other guy. What was his name again? Yzak? That sounded right. "Which way did he go?" She asked him. She had to talk to Dearka. He still wasn't totally off the hook. Oh no, defiantly not. He was going to get a stern talking to, and then maybe a day's worth of the silent treatment, unless he had an extremely good explanation for this, which she highly doubted.

Dearka had been running blindly for a good five minutes, and wasn't exactly sure where he was. He slowed to a swift walk, and tried to find any landmarks. Wandering down a hall that he knew was familiar, he stopped paying attention, focusing all his thought on remembering where he was. He quickly realized when he was hit in the face by a long wire. This was the back hallway with the roof entrance! How could he not have realized that sooner? He probably shouldn't go up there, with Athrun and Miriallia knowing where it was and all, but he did anyways.

She was pretty sure she knew where he would go. It was opposite the way that Yzak had pointed, but he'd had at least five minutes to double back or go through other hallways. She quickly made her way to the last place she remembered being the night before. Just as she had suspected, the stairs were once again pulled down. She climbed up, and sure enough, there sat Dearka. "You can be a real jerk sometimes, you know that?" She couldn't help but smirk when she saw him jump. Apparently she had been quiet enough to prevent him from noticing her.

"I'm well aware of that." He said in a joking tone.

"What were you thinking last night?"

"Who says I was?" Miriallia rolled her eyes at that comment.

"Point taken. Why did you do it?"

"You didn't object."

"I was asleep."

"Whose fault was that?" She faltered at that one. True, it was her fault for falling asleep, but she hadn't exactly been expecting him to go to sleep with her.

"I think you owe me an apology."

"Oh really?"

"And a thank you. I didn't have to do what I did."

"I don't feel li- what do you mean you didn't have to do what you did? What did you do?"

"I totally faked that faint attack to save you from the beating of the century."

Dearka stared at the girl in shock. She had _pretended _to faint so he could get out of a beating that he would have gotten in the first place because of her. Naturals hod some screwed up ways of thinking. "Well you wouldn't have had to done anything if you hadn't screamed."

"Well I'm sorry for finding it scary when there's some strange _guy _in my _bed_. How would you feel if that happened to you?

"Well, if I woke up with a guy in my bed, I'd start wondering what the hell I had to drink the night before."

This guy was hopeless! Could he take anything seriously? Most likely not. "Do you enjoy being difficult?"

"Why but of coarse!" It was all she could do to keep herself from screaming.

"You really want me to call everybody up here get you beat up, because you know, if you did, I would be more than happy to do it. You are being such a jerk right now, I don't even know why I don't do it. Maybe I just want you to have time to come up with a good cover story, but that would be stupid because if your story was good enough they'd let you off that hook and that wouldn't be good because then there'd be no point to this other than to make me feel like an idiot and I _really_ don't want that to happen so maybe I should just call them up right now, but they probably wouldn't hear me so I'd have to go get them which would give you time to get away and we couldn't have that happe-" Her rambling was cut off when he pressed his lips to hers. Her whole body tensed and she had no idea what to do. She just let go. Slowly, her muscles relaxed and she sunk into the kiss. He tasted amazing. Somewhere, in the back of her mind she was telling her self that this was wrong, but it didn't feel wrong. It felt so right. Once the need for air became greater than their need for each other, they broke apart. Miriallia stared wide-eyed at him. Shock was the only thing she felt. What had she done?

A/N: Finally done. I suffered through so much writer's block in this chapter it's not even funny. Not as long as I'd hoped it to be, but at least I made it 5 pages, which was the minimum lenght I promised myself it would be when I started it. I honestly didn't expect this to turn out like this. At the beginning it was more of a 'Dearka gets a major ass-kicking and Miriallia nurses him back to health' kind of idea, but this worked out so much better. I'll probably make this into a 5-6-chapter story. I already have an idea for a new story once this is done.


	4. In Your Hands

A/N: Well, I took a three-day break before I started this… and it was more my guilt then my muse that got me writing this. I had exams, so I was busy studying:Everybody: Eye roll: Well… I was pretending to study. Thanks to all my reviewers. I really enjoy your support. I'll try to set a page up for my review responses on my website. Thanks, and enjoy!

The song for this one is: In Your Hands by Thrice (Due to FF dot net ToS I have removed the lyrics from this chapter. To read this with the lyrics, find the mediaminer link on my profile page.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam SEED or In Your Hands by Thrice.

What had she done? She shook her head as she looked at him in fear. She couldn't stand it. Looking into those eyes. She felt like such a traitor! How could she have done this to Tolle? Unable to think of anything better to do under the circumstances, she ran. Dashing down the stairs, turning down any halls she saw. How could she have been so stupid? She felt like a coward. She couldn't even resist him. Why not? She loved Tolle, not him. It was impossible to love more than one person wasn't it?

What the hell? One minute she had been all over him, and now she was hysterically fleeing to god knows where. It was only a kiss, nothing too special. Realization struck him. She was still all hung up over the other guy, wasn't she? He had thought when she was able to talk to Athrun about him that she was over that. Apparently not. He should probably go find her before someone else did.

Yzak was wandering the halls aimlessly. What had Dearka been thinking, sharing a bed with a natural girl? Heh, not that he'd have to worry about it much longer. He'd received a call from his mother earlier that morning. She would be there to pick him up later that day. He knew he should get Dearka to come with him, but he couldn't resist hearing about all the trouble Dearka caused later. He smirked knowingly. If Dearka had caused that much of a scene so soon into his stay here, it could only get worse. Sure, they were friends, but they were friends who loved to make each other suffer. Yzak was jarred from his thoughts when he noticed an orange blur come charging at him. What the…? It was Dearka's little natural girlfriend. Judging from the sounds coming from her, she wasn't exactly feeling all 'sunshine and butterflies'. What was she so upset about? Acting without thinking, he reached out and grabbed her arm as she ran by.

He had to find Dearka. Miriallia could only protect him so much, and she wasn't going to totally cover for him this time. The guy had gone way to far. Kira had no idea what he would say to the bastard when he met up with him, but something told him that he would come up with the right words. Before this all started He would have said Miriallia was like the little sister he never had, but now, that would pretty much sum up his relationship with Cagalli, only with her, it was literal. How different would things be for them right now if they had never gotten involved in the war? He would have no idea Cagalli even existed, his friends probably wouldn't know he was a coordinator, and Tolle would still be with them. Kira shook his head to clear his thoughts. No use dwelling on what could have been when there were so many things to be done. He kept on walking, hoping he was looking in the right area of the mansion. Apparently he was because he soon saw the man he was looking for.

"Hey." He called out, getting Dearka's attention. The guy turned around at the sound of Kira's voice.

"Yeah?"

"Uh, do you have a minute?"

"Well, actually I was just looking for Miriallia."

"Then you have a few minutes to spare." Kira said forcefully. "I need to talk to you about her. She wouldn't want me to beat the crap out of you, so I need to tell you a few things about her."

"Uh… Oh kay?"

"She is like a sister to me, and if you ever hurt her, I won't hesitate to take whatever action is necessary."

"Listen, I know she's important to you, but I think we can leave this speech to her fathe-"

"Not only that, but if you ever try to pull a stunt like you did last night, I will destroy that face of yours."

"Uh, isn't that a little harsh?"

"It may be, but emotionally she's been to hell and back in a day, and I will not let you or any other guy hurt her. If I hear from anybody that you have told her of this talk or misbehaved in any way, I will not hesitate to harm you."

"Uhh, isn't the whole' trying to scare all the boys away' tactic supposed to be for her father?"

"I think you'll take me a lot more seriously than you would her father."

"Um, can I go now?" This was really creeping Dearka out. Ah, but this would be a story to tell the grandkids. 'When I was your age, I did things in the wrong order. I met your grandmother, slept with her, then got the 'scary father talk' from a guy who wasn't even her father." He smirked.

"What's that smirk for? I hope you understand the seriousness of this conversation."

"Yes Sir!" Dearka barked, and mock saluted.

The girl was muttering something about being so sorry, and she really hoped somebody would understand.

"Who are you apologizing to?" He snarled. He had no idea what had inspired him to grab her, but he had to come up with a quick cover.

"Uh-No-nothin- why do you care?" She asked, sounding almost shocked. Shit. He'd hoped she wouldn't ask him that.

"Your muttering is getting annoying. I think I deserve an explanation for my annoyance.

Why him? Why did he of all people find her? How could Dearka stand to be around this guy? He was such a jerk, and suddenly he was acting -in a very strange way- like he cared about her, but pushing it off as annoyance. And now he wanted an explanation for her behavior. She couldn't exactly just leave when he had a death-grip on her arm. Mentally shaking her head, she wiped her arms with her free hand.

"I'm fine." She said icily.

"That's not what I asked." Their voices were rising.

"Well that's the answer I'm giving."

"You should watch how you talk natural." Oh the nerve! She just wanted to scream at him. How dare he make a comment like that? She had to think fast for a good comeback before she looked like a pathetic idiot.

"Yzak, I believe you should be the one who watches his mouth." A third voice commanded. As soon as Yzak heard it, his grip on her arm loosened. As she glanced over at him, she noticed the 'oh shit' expression on his face. Looking to where the voice came from, she saw a female version of Yzak. Wow. That had to be his mother. She looked exactly like him.

"Uh… Hi mom." He stuttered. He sounded nervous. Not at all like the vicious beast he had been a minute ago.

Athrun sighed as he heard a commotion outside his room. It sounded like Yzak was picking on somebody. He got up with another sigh, and made his way to his door. Standing there was the last thing he expected to see. Yzak, Miriallia and Ezalia Joule. What exactly had been going on? Yzak looked scared, Miriallia looked surprised and a little red-eyed. –Had she been crying?- And Ezalia looked stern. Apparently she was upset with Yzak. Hmmm. Just when he'd thought this day couldn't get any more interesting.

After Kira had turned a corner, Dearka dashed the other way. That kid was even scarier out of his mobile suit than he was in it. _'Note to self: Don't piss Kira off.' _Easier said than done. He wouldn't be able to be in the same room as Miriallia without getting seriously injured. That it, assuming Kira's threats weren't empty. Why did he care? There were tons of other girls out there, who cared if he couldn't have this one? Not him. He had no reason to. Why did he want her? She was probably the only girl he'd ever liked who wouldn't swoon whenever she saw him smile. Whoa. Who said anything about liking? He shook his head in an attempt to clear it. He was just confused. Dearka continued his trek down the hallway, until he came to a dead end. Why the hell would there be a hallway with no doors that just stopped? He leaned against a wall, and slowly slid down until he was sitting on the floor. Leaning his head against the wall he heard raised voices. Dearka sighed. This was going to be a long day.

Maybe he had been a little harsh with his threats when he'd been talking to Dearka. No. From what he knew about that guy, his head was way to thick. Kira had to be harsh to get his point through. Hell, the only reason he'd left was because the hallway was getting a little crowded, with Dearka's ego and all. That guy was way too over confident.

Shit. Shitshitshitshitshitdamnshitshitshitshit. Of coarse his mother was going to be all politically correct with the treaty signing, even if it wasn't in public. She had to show she supported the treaty. But why did she have to walk in right when he was having a yelling match with Dearka's girlfriend? And to top off this sunshine sundae of delight, Athrun just had to pop out to see what was going on. Just dandy.

Miriallia felt extremely awkward. She felt as if everybody was staring at her, though she couldn't help but wonder how they could see through the awkward silence. It was so thick. Like mud. It was blinding her. Crap! Was she going to faint for real this time? No. She wouldn't.

"Hello. I'm, Ezalia Joule, and you are…?" Yzak's mother held out her hand. She was introducing herself. She had to pull herself together.

"Uh, Hi, I'm Miriallia Haw." She shook her hand. There. That hadn't been so hard. Nobody was dead. Nobody passed out. Nobody was going to be burned at the stake. Noticing the death-glares that were being sent to Yzak courtesy of Ezalia. So, maybe somebody would be burned at the stake. But at least it wouldn't be her. Apparently she hadn't been the only one to notice the awkward silence.

"Yzak, are you ready to go?" She directed the question to Yzak, but her eyes were on Athrun.

"Yes."

"Then we shall be going. It was nice to meet you Miss Haw. Zala." She finished with a nod in Athrun's direction. She left without another word. Miriallia stood there for a while, staring at the place where Ezalia had been a moment before.

"Well that was… interesting." Athrun said, breaking the silence.

"You know, in some strange way, I pity him. He looked like he was about to be slaughtered."

"I doubt it. There are punishments much worse than death." Athrun said before slipping back into his room and shutting the door behind him. Miriallia stood there for a while longer before shaking her head slowly and walking towards the kitchen.

Dearka was so confused. She had kissed him back and then run off. If she truly felt that bad about it then why did she kiss him in the first place? Unless there was something else but what? Damnit. Why did women have to be co confusing? Why just run around doing whatever crazy thing your emotions told you to do when you could just be straightforward like men were? Dearka shook his head. Maybe he should try being gay. It would be so much easier. Oh well, the ball was in Miriallia's court now. What she chose to do was totally up to her.

Once she was safe inside the kitchen, Miriallia plopped into a chair, dropped her head onto the table and groaned. This earned her some strange looks from the others in the kitchen, Lacus, Cagalli and Sai. Sensing that she was being watched, She lifted her head, and peered through her hair that had fallen over her face when she'd sat down.

"Will this day ever end?" She asked them.

"In another 14 hours and 47 minutes." Cagalli replied. Miriallia groaned. It was just after nine and she already felt like dying.

"I would ask if this day could get any worse, but something tells me it could." She said in an annoyed tone.

"Coffee?" Sai asked holding out a mug. Miriallia shook her head no, and plunked her head back onto the table.

Kira ventured into the kitchen and took the mug being held out by Sai and downed in one gulp. This was followed by grimacing and sounds that made it clear that Sai would never get a job at Starbucks. Kira wandered over to the table with a carton of juice in hand, and sat down beside Miriallia, and commenced chugging the juice strait from the carton in an attempt to wash the taste of Sai's 'coffee' out of his mouth. He stopped when he heard Cagalli cough behind him.

"You know, that's the only juice we have in the house." She half yelled. Kira looked at her with an eyebrow raised as if asking her what her point was. Before he could get his head bitten off, Miriallia intervened.

"Something tells me you've never tried Sai's coffee before." She said, trying not to giggle. Cagalli looked at her expectantly. "Let's just say, if you knew what it was like, you'd understand Kira's situation."

"It's not that bad!" Sai pouted. Miriallia got up to get some water. She patted his back as she wandered past him.

"You think that Sai, you think that."

"Forgetting the coffee, I was thinking that we should all try to do something fun today." Lacus said, trying to make peace.

"Like what?" Kira asked, placing the now empty carton on the table.

"Maybe like going to a movie or something."

"Maybe it would be better to have a movie marathon here." Miriallia suggested, not really feeling up to going out. Lacus nodded.

"Something tells me our troublemaker in-residence would cause a scene if we went anywhere public today." Cagalli pointed out.

Dearka sat in his hallway for a while longer until he finally deemed it safe to leave. Wondering where to go, he decided that food sounded really good. Once he walked into the kitchen he was bombarded with questions. He couldn't make out anything that was being said.

"What's this all about?" He asked sounding dazed.

"Movie marathon. Tonight. We need to know what to get, including food. So speak." Cagalli told him. Dearka raised an eyebrow at the 'speak' command, but decided to ignore it.

"Get something scary or suspenseful. And anything that will take 5 years off my life is good for food."

Miriallia tried to disappear into her chair before Dearka could see her. She really didn't want to confront him right now. Not in front of everybody. But, as luck would have it, he looked over at her, and everybody stopped talking. Why her? Why? He looked away, and this sent the awkward meter sky-high.

"Where's Zala?" He asked, trying to act as if nothing had happened. He was amazed that nobody had made any attempt to maul him yet. Maybe he truly was forgiven. Somehow, he doubted that, but it was okay to hope. Just as the question was asked, Athrun walked in. He was immediately bombarded with the same questions Dearka had been attacked with. He looked back at where Miriallia had been sitting, only to find the chair empty. He sighed and headed out of the kitchen, determined to find her.

A/N: I feel like people make Miriallia 'jump' at Dearka too quickly without her even thinking about Tolle most of the time. I really wanted to express the regret I think she would have felt if she was with Dearka that soon after the war. That's pretty much what this chapter was about… And Kira getting protective .

I would have gotten this out sooner, but one of my stories got deleted, and I had a 5-day posting ban. (Which is why I quickly removed all the lyrics from my chapters)


	5. November Pt 1

A/N: I'm not a big fan of using 'Milly' as a nickname. I don't know why, I just don't like using it in my writing.

Due to a major case of writer's block, I decided to split this into two extremely short chapters so I could post this one. I will probably take quite a while to get the second half out, but it will get done. (Eventually)

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam SEED or November by Silverstein.

Due to the FF. net ToS, the lyrics in this chapter have been removed. You may view this chapter with the lyrics on my mediaminer account (under the same pen name) Once I get this posted there (which may take quite a while)

Dearka wandered out of the kitchen towards Miriallia's room. He had a 'sixth sense' as he liked to call it, that allowed him to track down a female at any given time if he truly wanted to, and it told him that she was in her room.

She was so confused. She still felt deeply attached to Tolle, but something inside of her was pulling her towards Dearka. She didn't know what to do, how to feel, or how to act. Everything was just so complicated. She felt like her heart was being torn in half, and no matter what she chose she would lose the half of her heart she didn't go with. Sighing, Miriallia curled up on her bed, and cocooned herself inside of her blankets. Squeezing her eyes shut, she mentally begged the world to open up and swallow her whole.

He stood outside of the door. Her door. Unsure of whether to knock or just go in, he was frozen outside of it, trying to figure it out. Deciding that if he knocked he could be ordered away, he ventured in slowly. His eyes darted around the room before landing on a bump in the blankets.

"Mir-Miriallia?" He asked, wanting to use the nickname he had heard her friends use so many times before, but deciding against it, worried it may make her even more uncomfortable.

Miriallia's eyes flew open at the sound of his voice. Him. He was the one who had made this so difficult for her. If it weren't for him, she wouldn't even be in this situation right now. '_You wouldn't be in this situation because you would be dead._' That damn voice reminded her. It hadn't come up for a while now, but suddenly, there it was, right in the front of her mind. "What do you want?" She asked him; sure her voice must have been muffled by the blankets wrapped around her head, and the pillow her face was buried in.

"Can we talk?" He asked almost sounding- No. It couldn't be. He sounded almost, scared. Since when was Dearka Elthman afraid of her?

"What's there to talk about?" She asked him curtly.

"Well, there's me. You know there is a lot about me to talk about. Did you know that I was the best at almost everything when I was in elementary school? I couldn't be beaten by anybody. I was known as 'Dearka, Champion of All'. But of coarse, you've probably heard all about tha-" Miriallia rolled her eyes. He wasn't helping the situation at all.

"Leave your ego outside and we'll see." She told him.

Dearka stared. How dare she? She honestly wanted him to separate from his ego? His precious ego? He worried his lip. Now was the moment of truth. Part with his ego for a short while, or part with Miriallia forever. She expected him to make a decision right then and there?

"I'm waiting." She told him in a singsong voice. Dearka sighed. He supposed she did mean more to him than his ego. He sent a mental apology to his ego, and then ushered it into the back of his head.

"Okay. Ego's gone. Now can we talk?"

Miriallia had been worried when it had taken him so long to decide on his next move. Did he honestly care about his ego that much? After he had told her he had gotten rid of it, she carefully poked the top half of her head out from her haven of blankets.

Dearka froze when she stuck her head out from the blankets. Her eyes looked so… He couldn't put words to her expression. She looked, what was the word? Lost? Dejected? Crestfallen? Depressed? No. None of those words did it justice. But not only did she look extremely depressed, she also looked confused. What was there to be confused about? There was him, and there was her. He was pretty fond of her, and judging to her initial reaction to the kiss they had shared earlier that morning, she felt the same way about him. What else was there to the equation?

"What's this about? You're avoiding me like I'm the plague or something. Everyone else can sense it as well." When he didn't get a reply he sighed. He was about to something insane, audacious, daring. Something very few men had ever consciously decided to do. "Is there something you want to talk about?" As soon as the last word left his mouth, he started a mantra in his head. '_Please say no, please say no, please say no, please say no.' _over and over in his head.

"I don't know." She muttered.

"Huh?" He asked, moving closer to her.

"I don't know anything. I don't know how to feel. I mean, I part of me really misses him," Him. Tolle. The reason she'd come at him with a scalpel if he recalled correctly, "but another part wants me to move on. And, I really want to, but there's always that voice in the back of my head telling me that somehow he'll come back to me, a-and I don't want have to decide between the two of you. Ever. I really care a-about both of you, but I f-feel as if no matter what s-somebody will get hurt, and I-I really don't want that to h-happen." She sniffled. Dearka could hear her trying to hold back the tears. She was worried that either him or her dead boyfriend would get hurt no matter what happened? He bit his lip, harder this time. "Y-you probably think I-I'm some kind of freak th-thinking that he could come back, b-but I really want h-him to. I-I mean, I w-want to be w-with you t-too I m-mean," She paused. She was really crying now. Sobbing now, and it was getting hard to hear the words between the sniffles and sobs, but he could. "I m-mean, I-I mea- I don't know what I mean." By this time, Dearka was sitting next to her on the bed, rubbing her back gently. His mother had always been rather emotional, and he wasn't at all new to comforting crying girls.

Miriallia was getting even more confused by the second. Here she was crying to a guy who probably liked her as much as she liked him about her hopes of her dead boyfriend coming back from the dead, and he was trying to comfort her. She had no idea what to do in a situation like this, but she did no that she was seeking comfort, and there was somebody willing to comfort her sitting right next to her, so she did what felt natural. She wriggled her head into his lap; seeking more of the comfort he'd offered her, and looked into his eyes.

Those eyes again. They were so full of emotion. So full of loss, hate, sorrow, need, pain, confusion, and so many other things. It felt as if she wanted him to say something. What was there to say? Dearka searched madly through his head for something to say. "We, we can take it slowly, if that's what you want." He whispered to her in a soft voice. The next look she gave him was totally different from the other's he'd been given lately. This one was filled with hope and gratitude.

"I-I'd like that." She whispered to him. If she had been any other girl, Dearka would probably have been screaming at himself at that moment. If it had been any other girl, he would have been mentally torturing himself for agreeing to 'take things slow'. But not with Miriallia. It felt like the right thing to do. He felt that as long as she was happy, he could be happy.

'We can take it slowly' were the last words Miriallia had expected to hear come from his mouth, but they had. She smiled slowly and sighed as he ran his hand through her hair. Everything felt so right, like this was how it was supposed to be. It was if the two of them were the only people in the world, like time had stopped for them.

Dearka wasn't sure what he'd expected to happen after he'd promised her they could go slowly, but it sure wasn't having her cuddle up to him. Sighing, the blonde twisted himself around and reclined against the headboard of the bed, maneuvering Miriallia so she was leaning against his chest as he went. He couldn't help but smirk as she tried to dig her head deeper into his chest. He really was amazing. Just moments before it seemed like she had been doing everything in her power to avoid him, and now she was acting like she couldn't get close enough to him. Glancing down at her he noticed she looked like she was about to fall asleep, and as strange as it was being that she had only woken up a couple of hours before, he smiled. "If you go to sleep, promise you won't scream?" Dearka teased. Her reply was a muffled 'Mhmmm'.

Dearka hadn't been the only one to notice Miriallia's disappearance. Kira had noticed it as well and was waiting for a chance to leave the kitchen without seeming too suspicious. He wouldn't have been as anxious if Dearka hadn't disappeared on her tail. He didn't know why, but he really didn't trust that guy. It felt to Kira like Dearka was taking advantage of Miriallia while she was down, and if that was the case, Dearka would be in for it. When there was a break in the conversation the former soldiers were having, Kira excused himself and headed towards Miriallia's room.


	6. November Pt 2

Disclaimer: Not yet.

Due to the ToS on this website, the lyrics have been removed from this chapter.

A/N: I'm not totally pleased with this chapter. I feel like it jumps around too much. Meh.

Kira knocked lightly on Miriallia's door. He couldn't see Dearka around, but there were no voices coming from inside. What was going on with her? She was avoiding Dearka totally, and still acting really depressed. He had thought she was getting over Tolle's death, if not Tolle himself. Kira sighed and looked at the floor. He should have known better. Miriallia had always been good at hiding her feelings. But, if that was the case, why couldn't she conceal them around Dearka? She was like an open book around him, and something about that bothered him.

Dearka leaned back farther into the pillows. He was happy that she was allowing him within a hundred meters of her, but he couldn't help but get the feeling that something was wrong. Her emotions were constantly changing, and she always acted as if there was something else on her mind. Sighing he leaned his head back, determined to enjoy this and not worry. All hopes of relaxation were shattered as soon as he heard the door creak open. This couldn't be good for him.

Kira took a deep breath, trying to convince himself that whatever he'd find would have a perfectly good explanation. But what he did find was a bit disturbing. Miriallia was curled up on top of Dearka, looking quite cozy, while Dearka had something resembling a guilty smile on his face.

Dearka wasted no time in pointing at Miriallia, trying to communicate to Kira that this was all her doing, while praying to every deity he could think of that Kira would hear him out, although he had to wonder how he could explain his situation to Kira without waking Miriallia up. This would take talent, not that he was lacking in that department. Dearka smirked. Apparently his ego had snuck in with Kira.

Kira knew he had to hear Dearka out. The blonde had seemed quite frightened when they'd had their chat earlier that morning, so he could only assume there was an extremely good explanation for this situation. He was about to say something when he saw how Dearka was trying in vain to remove himself from Miriallia's grasp without disturbing her sleep. Rolling his eyes at the scene, Kira breezed across the room and effortlessly removed Miriallia from the bed. While Dearka was getting up, he glanced down at the girl in his arms. As he stared at her sleeping face, he sighed. '_What are you getting yourself into Mir?_' He wondered. She had been so badly wounded emotionally when Tolle had died, he wasn't sure she'd be able to handle another blow, even if it was a small one such as a breakup. Some part of him just didn't trust Dearka. He was the total opposite of Tolle. Where Tolle had been nice and gentle, Dearka was sarcastic and blunt. Where Tolle could keep the peace between almost anybody, Kira was sure Dearka was more likely to start a brawl than bring an end to one, yet somehow, somehow they had both managed to find one girl that they would risk their lives to protect.

"Hey, uh, Kira. I'm not that slow. You can put her down now." Kira almost jumped when he heard the voice in his ear.

"Oh, uh yeah, okay." Kira said, trying not to sound too out of it. He gently placed her down, pulling a blanket up to just under her chin.

"I'm not going to hurt her, you know." Dearka stated.

He wasn't sure what had inspired him to say it, but he had. Kira really needed to understand that he would not hurt her in any way. He could only wonder what would happen when he had to meet her parents. First he had assisted in the destruction of Heliopolis, and then stolen their daughter from right under their noses, and if her friends were this tough… Dearka shuddered at the thought.

"Maybe not intentionally," Kira told him, now facing the door. "But everybody she knows will compare you to Tolle, and you have to understand it's not going to be easy to withstand the pressure that will be put on you. If you can't hold under this, you won't stand a chance against anybody else. Hell, I don't even know why I'm telling you this. I don't like this and neither does Sai, but if Miriallia can see something in you, we'll put up with you. Just, just don't hurt her." Kira said, trying to prove his point. Miriallia had an open wound, and he couldn't help but consider Dearka as salt. If they came together at all, it could only cause pain, but the faster they got together, the more pain there would be.

Dearka wasn't sure what to feel. Here was this guy, pretty much telling him that he hated him, but he would put up with him just so he could see his friend happy, even if he thought she would just end up getting hurt in the end. At least, that was what he could gather from it. There had to be something seriously wrong with this guy. Or maybe Dearka was just incapable of interpreting what he meant. Either way, he was extremely confused. "So, you're _not_ going to hurt me?" He asked, shocked. He had honestly been expecting a beating. Kira turned around to look at him.

"We'll see." Dearka had to bite his lip hard to keep the grin from creeping up onto his face. He had gotten off easy twice in less than three hours. Damn, he was good. Once Kira had left, he sat down on the floor, leaning his head against the bed. Yzak had left earlier that morning, and had tried to convince Dearka to go with him. He had refused; feeling the need to figure things out before he made any moves. He had a lot to think about. Yzak had told him ZAFT would excuse his betrayal, and he could join them again. He wasn't sure if he wanted that though. He didn't know what he wanted. Dearka sighed. He would just have to take things one-step at a time.

Miriallia had felt so relaxed, so safe when she fell asleep. It was like everything was okay again, but after a while; her peaceful dreams were becoming more depressing. At first, she couldn't tell what was going on, but then she saw it, she saw _him_. _He_ was smiling at her. They were on earth. Their families had been camping together. They were walking along a beach, an amazing sunset in the background. They turned onto a dock, and sat down at the end. She leaned her head against his shoulder, wanting the moment to last forever. He wrapped his arm around her waist, sharing his warmth with her. She sighed blissfully; she had been the luckiest girl in the world, too busy admiring the view to notice the mischievous grin on his face. The next thing she knew, she was in the water. The scene changed. She was by water again, but _he_ wasn't there. No. _He_ had died over the water. That was where she was. She was standing as close as she could to the area he had died over. She couldn't breathe. All she could hear was herself, calling out for Kira and _Him_. Why was she remembering this? Was she dreaming? She couldn't tell.

Dearka looked over at the girl sleeping on the bed. Her face was no longer peaceful. She looked worried, and she was shaking. A tear fell from the corner of her eye, leaving a crystalline trail down the side of her face.

A/N: I'll probably take just as long finishing the next chapter as I took writing this. You see, I've fallen in love with another pairing. Don't you hate it when that happens? I will finish this story, It'll just take a lot longer than I'd originally planned.


	7. Phoenix Ignition

A/n: I know some people will hate me for this, but I've decided to jump ahead a few months from the last one, and maybe even for skipping the movie marathon, but I think I'll make that one into a side one-shot. This will be the last chapter for all you rabid D/M fans, but for those of you who don't care as much, there will be one more chapter after this (or I might make it a separate one-shot) with the break-up. So, yes, this is a Destiny cannon fic.

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Miriallia fumbled with her key, trying to get it into the lock. Her hands were shaking so the task was difficult. It was Valentines Day, a bittersweet holiday for everybody. It was a day of roses and chocolates, and sweet nothings, a day of old clichés and love, and a day of death. She had just come home from a memorial service, to pay respects to all who lost their lives, both in the Bloody Valentine tragedy, and the war that followed. Later that day she would be taking a shuttle to… wherever it was Dearka lived. She was too busy fiddling with her key to recall the name. It was to be a surprise visit, one she hadn't told him about, but she wasn't so sure she could go. Going to the memorial service had brought back so many memories of Tolle. She knew she would feel guilty if she went to see Dearka. But what was there to feel guilty for? He would have wanted her to move on, wanted her to be happy, and she was trying. Finally managing to force her key into the lock, she pushed her door open and kicked it shut behind her. So many things were going on in her head. She had to get some pictures taken while she was at PLANT for the magazine she worked for coming up, she had to go meet Dearka, and she was going to try to squeeze in a visit with Kira before her holiday was over. Her and Dearka were still a couple, and a long-distance relationship was working great for them. Once or twice a month they would visit for a few days, and catch up. She hadn't been thrilled to learn that he was re-joining ZAFT, but had decided it was his decision to make.

Making her way into her small kitchen, she poured some milk into a mug, and popped it into her microwave, feeling a need for some creamy hot chocolate before she left. After it had heated up, she pulled the mug out and mixed more powder than necessary. Pulling a spoon from a drawer, she mixed it until all the chunks of powder were gone, and headed towards her living room. Reclining on her couch, she imagined how things would go when she got to Dearka's house. She would walk up to his house, much larger than her cozy apartment, he would answer the door and seem totally shocked, then tell her that her being there was the best gift she could have given him, and they would spend the day curled up together watching old cheesy romance movies, and other cliché things. Finishing off her hot chocolate, she decided she should head to the shuttle port, and after lying for a few minutes longer, pushed herself up and headed to her bedroom to grab her bags. After grabbing them, she pushed a smile on her face. She wouldn't let the past bring her down on this special day.

Leaning her head back, Miriallia braced herself for the exit of earth's atmosphere. She was more than used to the feeling by now, after being on the Archangel for so long, she hardly even noticed herself bracing, or the turbulence. None of it bothered her at all, although some of the more intense trips did bring back some rather un-fond memories of battles, and whenever she could see they were passing another ship through the viewing window, she instinctively wanted to tell someone. It was lessening though, every trip she took brought her farther away from those memories. Her small suitcase was in another part of the shuttle, presumably below them, and the only carry-on luggage she had with her was her camera bag and some extra film. She smiled slightly when she had told the editor of the magazine she free-lanced for that she used film. It was such an old technology she couldn't blame them for being surprised. Sure, she owned a fairly nice, professional digital camera, but she enjoyed using film so much. She wasn't sure why, it may have been the slight scent of the chemicals she had grown to love whenever she stepped into her dark room, or the feeling of authenticity, or maybe it was something else. She wasn't sure why, but she always loved using film. And it wasn't easy to come by either. She had to order it directly from a company, and it was quite expensive. But it was no real trouble. She enjoyed it. Shutting her eyes, Miriallia managed to fall asleep. The next thing she knew, somebody was shaking her awake lightly. She smiled at the person, and gathered up her few items, and exited the shuttle. She headed to the luggage claim to grab the rest of her items, and noticed a silver head standing there holding it already. She suppressed a giggle. He seemed bitter, and would often drop some cruel comments, but he was pretty nice once you got to know him. Like Fllay. Most people weren't able to see past her seemingly cruel exterior, but once you looked past that, you could see she was really just misunderstood.

"Hey." She said with a slight nod of acknowledgement. He looked at her and grunted before handing her her bag. Good old Yzak. She could only imagine how much he had enjoyed knowing she would be going out there and not having to tell Dearka. He seemed to love knowing anything somebody else didn't know.

They had managed to get to Dearka's place without any trouble, and Yzak left just after telling her she had around half an hour until Dearka should be home, leaving Miriallia alone with her thoughts. She was pretty sure Dearka's parents didn't know about her. Well, they probably knew he had a girlfriend, but were probably unaware of the fact that she was a natural. Not that she could blame them. His father had been on the ZAFT high council or something like that, and most likely still upheld the former ideals: that all naturals should die. Her parents were just happy that she was happy, and she was almost certain that they wouldn't care if she told them Dearka was a llama. They'd probably just start wedding preparations, and then build a farm suitable for a llama to live in.

Dearka groaned. He had made it through what had to have been one of the worst days of his life. He couldn't wait to get home so he could call Miriallia. Neither of them had been able to book enough time off for a visit, so they had agreed that a long video conversation was in order. He paused at his door. Something wasn't right. He distinctly remembered leaving all the lights off when he'd left that morning, yet he could see through the front windows that they were on.

Miriallia heard the car pull into the driveway and had a split-second decision to make. She wanted to surprise him by snapping a picture as soon as he walked in the door, but she knew that if she surprised him too much, he may pull a gun or something before he would know who it was. She decided it was worth the risk, but she would leave the flash off just to be safe. She creeped to the door, and stood as close to it as she could without risking being hit by it when it opened.

Dearka thought about it before deciding he must have forgotten about one. He slid his key in the door, making sure his gun was in reach just in case. He wasn't really supposed to carry it with him, but it wasn't safe even though they were living in peaceful times. He had to be careful; especially since some people weren't very happy knowing he had escaped the death penalty. Turning his key, he slid the door open, and screamed.

Miriallia had been expecting some sort of reaction, but _that_? Dearka had screamed like a little girl when he saw her. And he had the nerve to call himself a soldier. What kind of soldier would scream at the sight of a camera? Sure she may have been standing right in front of him, and he had obviously been deep in thought, but still... She burst into laughter.

"Mir?" He asked, dumbfounded. "I thought you couldn't get time off work." He was still getting over the initial shock of having his picture taken the moment he walked into his house by somebody who was supposed to be on the other side of the galaxy.

"Oh yeah. Well you see." She said, saying each word like she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, "I lied." She finished up quickly with a perky smile on her face.

"And how did you get in?"

"Yzak let me in." Yzak? He had helped her? Dearka should have knowing introducing the two was a bad decision, but what else could he have done? He couldn't keep his girlfriend a secret from his best friend. He could worry about that later. He smiled a flirtatious smile, and wrapped an arm around her shoulder before leading her into the kitchen.

"Well I have to say, this is by far the best valentines present I've ever received." He told her, placing a kiss to the top of her head. She giggled.

Miriallia smiled. It hurt a lot,getting overwhat she and Tolle had shared, it was almost like she was destroying it,but she knew that once it was all done, all gone, she would feel much better. And if everything else was gone, there were two things that could never go away. Her love for Tolle, and her memories of him. No, her love for Tolle would never die, but her heart was big enough to share.

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A/N: I was going to make it longer, but that just seemed like the perfect place to end it. The next chapter will be the breakup, so for some of you this may be the last chapter you read. As I said before, I'm planning to write a one-shot about what happened at the movie marathon, and if you'd prefer, I'll make the break-up scene a side one-shot as well. Let me know.

It took me so long to get inspiration for this chapter, and when I did it was a lot later in the plot line than I'd expected. I'll try to have the last chapter out by the end of next month.


	8. Note to Self

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam SEED or the song Note To Self by From First To Last.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who supported me through this fic! This one's for you:Virtual grasshopper pie for everybody: (Grasshopper pie is the best EVER! But my mom doesn't ever make it because one of the ingredients os some kind of liquor and you can only buy it in huge bottles, and the recipe only calls for about 1-2 tbsp.)

I've been trying to upload this for almost three days, but it wouldn't let me. So sorry for the even further delay.

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Her fingers delicately caressed the smooth stone before tossing it into the lake. It skipped twice before sinking. She sank to the ground and absently ran the sand through her fingers. She had made a hard decision, and it was almost time for her to act upon it. She could still change her mind, and she knew it, bur she also knew that she had made the right choice. She wasn't ready for commitment yet. Her wounds may have healed, but the scars would never fade. She didn't want to be stuck in the past, but she felt like someone had hit the pause button on her life, and she was stuck in the same frame. Clutching her knees to her chest, she sighed and rested her chin on them. She had to do this. savoring her last few moments, she slowly stood up, and took more than enough time brushing herself off. Taking a last breath of soft ocean air, she made her slow ascent to the orphanage. She had spent the last week with most of the other crewmembers from the Archangel staying at Kira and Lacus's place. It was time for her to finish things with Dearka.

He had been shocked to say the least. Sure, he'd had his suspicions, the way she'd been alienating herself from him, and how she'd been spending most of her time locked in her room, insisting that she was developing some of her photographs and couldn't be disturbed, but he knew she was lying. But it had come so suddenly. She hadn't left any room for arguing, insisting that she couldn't handle being in a relationship. He'd wanted to be the one to help her move on, but, maybe he'd been hoping for something that would never come. He'd heard of people who had lost someone important to them, and spent the rest of their lives staring at pictures, playing the memories over and over in their minds until they were faded with age. Would Miriallia become like that?

He missed her. He couldn't go a day without wanting to ask her something, or hold her, or show off to her. He hadn't realized how much he'd enjoyed having her around him before. He truly wanted her to come back to him. Yzak had often caught him staring at a phone, as if hoping for it to ring, or considering making a call himself. He would often wonder if Miriallia was any better off than he was.

Miriallia often found herself staring into blank space, her mind wandering to the strangest places. Once she woke from a daze only to find herself counting the ridges on the side of a dime. There had been 118. She would often lose track of time, and usually found herself losing much sleep due to either not getting things done during the day, or not realizing that she should be sleeping. Sai and Kira had both expressed their concern, and in the beginning she had brushed it off, but she was starting to worry about herself as well. Having her train of thought always falling off it's tracks, and losing all sense of time and space couldn't be healthy, especially if it was happening constantly. She needed a way out, she needed a change.

Dearka knew, after weeks of waiting that she wouldn't be coming back, and it was up to him. He was amazed at how much he had changed through the war. He had gone from wanting to eliminate all naturals to loving one. He was being torn up from the inside out. His heart was pulling him one way, and his mind was pulling him another. It was just one giant game of tug-of-war, and his mind was winning. He often found himself wondering if things would have been better if he'd let himself be killed instead of taking the easy way out and surrendering. It would have been better if he and Miriallia had never met. He stared out of his window. He had been temporarily transferred to a ZAFT base on earth. He noticed the moon. It looked so different from the fake one they projected on the Plants.

Miriallia Looked at the moon reflecting on the lake and sighed. Things were better this way. She was sure of it.

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A/N: I didn't actually write the break-up scene because, well, I'm honestly not sure I could do it justice. So I'll leave it to your imaginations. Overall, I'm not totally happy with this chapter, maybe a 6 out of 10, but, meh. I was inspired... I guess

BTW, It's actually true that a dime has 118 ridges. Does anyone else have any useless information? Like, aerodynamically, a bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly. Stuff like that. Let me know and I'll love you forever!


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